Homework

I got Zoe a dry-erase alphabet writing book for Christmas this year, thinking it would be good for her to practice her letters over the next few years.  Well, to my surprise, it is one of her favorite things to play with!  She will spend hours just tracing the alphabet, and she is getting quite good.  I would seriously reccomend picking this book up at Wal-Mart ($14.95) if your little one is preparing for or just starting school.

Here she is enjoying her book :)

She is very proud of herself and shows us every time she finishes a page.  She has improved her writing skills over when she first started learning to write her name, and no longer requires you to draw the dotted line for her to trace.

New Molds!

Zoe got her new ear molds on Friday!  I think they are super cute!  The pink in these is lighter in color and translucent instead of solid.  Excuse the first picture, it was taken with my crappy cell phone camera...

OLD ear molds- solid hot pink and white marbled

















NEW Ear molds- light translucent pink and white marbled :)



I'm so glad we finally got them, we were hearing a lot of feedback because they were really getting loose.  I got to see the doctor make them this time, which was pretty cool.  I was very surprised Zoe held still so well while the mixture hardened in her ear.  She's such a big girl :)

This Zoe moment is brought to you by St Ives body lotion

Sometimes... there are no words.  Enjoy the pictures.

long story short, you should NEVER leave a bottle of lotion in the backseat of your car during a long drive home.

My hopes for you in 2011

It's a bit late, but I saw on another blog where a mother wrote her hopes and dreams for her children for the new year and I thought it was a sweet thing to do (Shut Up.).  So I wanted to write a letter to my sweet little girl too.  Wanna hear it?  Here it goes:


  My dearest Zoe Simone,

     I hope that this year, and every other year, you realize just how special you are to everyone you meet.  You make me laugh, you make me cry, you make me SO proud. With each passing day, month, and year- you continue to amaze me.  I hope that this year, you know you are so loved, so blessed, and so beautiful.  I hope you continue to excel in your ECI program at school- you have impressed everyone with how bright you really are.  I hope that our family continues to bond closer together and rally around you as you achieve each milestone. 

I hope that this year when you turn four years old, you have the most amazing birthday yet, as we celebrate another year having you in our lives.  I hope that this year, and any other year, that you never, ever let anyone tell you you can't achieve something.  You were made just for us, hearing loss and all- to be your biggest fans and to support and love you every step of the way.  We hope you realize that no matter what happens, mommy & daddy will ALWAYS be there for you.  You are capable of great things, and your daddy and I can't wait to watch you grow and achieve those things.

I hope that you continue to build your friendships with the children in your class, and that you make new friends.  Your friends, unlike many people in this world, understand you.  You see, the world is sometimes a cold, cruel place, baby girl.  As you grow, you will almost certainly run into people who want to break your spirit and make you feel like because you are "different" from them, somehow they are better than you.  You will learn that in reality, YOU are the one who is "better" than these people.  They, unlike you, have hate in their heart.  Don't let that hate stop you from shining. 

I hope that this year, our family is fortunate enough to take you to new places, allow you to explore new sights and sounds, meet new people, and learn new things.  I hope that each holiday this year is one filled with happiness and memories for all of us, and that the traditions we practice for each one becomes deeply rooted into the person you are, and who you will become- and that you will carry them on to your own family someday.

I hope that when you look at me, you see the type of mother you need, and that you come to me without hesitation when you need me most.  I hope that your vocabulary continues to grow and blossom as much as it has last year.  I hope that by the end of this year, everyone will hear and understand what Zoe Simone has to say.  I have said a lot of things that I hope for you this year, but most importantly, I hope that you continue to be the amazing child that you are.  In so many ways, you have changed our lives for the better.  You have made me a better person.  Thank You for being my daughter.

xoxo
~Mommy

Glen Burnie's Next Top Model :)

I have been told since Zoe was an infant, how absolutely BEAUTIFUL she is.  Of course, I always thought she was beautiful- every mom does.  Even if their kid is ugly (kidding).  But the more Zoe grows, I think I am starting to realize that everyone is RIGHT. 

She is GORGEOUS. 

And I am SCARED. 

Teenage Zoe is going to be a force to be reckoned with- watch out boys!!!  But seriously, I have been researching lately how I can expose her natural beauty and talent to the world without becoming on of "those" moms.  I don't want to pressure her or anything, but a couple of jobs to help with her college fund would be nice :)  Since I got my new camera, all i can do is take pictures of my favorite subject.  Here are our most recent ones:

What does everyone think?  Photography has become a hobby of mine- it just so happens that Zoe is a very willing and very TALENTED participant.  Any ideas on how I can get started in the child model world?

Christmas 2010

Christmas in my family is usually a pretty hectic time.  I'm sure it is for every family... but for some reason MY family adds an extra degree of stress to EVERYTHING, so Christmas is like the super bowl of stressors for me. I am always worried about making sure every present is bought, wrapped, addressed, that I didn't leave anyone out... and then we pack our car and ride 2 hours to my mother's house in East Berlin, PA.  We have done this for 3 Christmas' now- but this year, I decided, THIS year we would claim OUR Christmas.  We had to start our own family traditions and have our own Christmas eve in our own place.  I have to say it was hard.  When you have spent every Christmas morning with your family for as long as you can remember, suddenly changing routine is an adjustment.  However- I am SO glad we did it.  Christmas as a whole was, just, perfect.  Zoe and I baked a TON of de-licious Christmas cookies together- one of the traditions my grandmother (who has since passed) always did with me. 

Baking Sugar Cookies with my lovey <3

We woke up bright and early (after a night of playing Santa's workshop), and gently woke Zoe.  She, unlike most mornings, woke up smiling and excited.  i had no idea just HOW aware she actually is of her surroundings and the anticipation that leads up to Christmas.  I remember most that she put her hands on top her head and spun around in circles after seeing the tree full of gifts.  She opened each gift with a "WOW!" or "Mommy! Look! A BABY!!!" and was genuinely thrilled with everything Santa had put under the tree.  There was no screaming... The was no cursing... Nobody left upset or crying.  There was just pure Christmas Magic.  I guess in the end, change IS good.  We are carving out our little niche in the world and standing as our own family.  I took a ton of pictures with my AH-MAZE-ING new camera that my honey bought me.  Honestly, a lot of days, I feel sad and sometimes even depressed, because everything doesn't always go my way.  We aren't the richest people and sometimes it's all we can do to barely pay all the bills on time.  But sometimes... I step back and look at days and moments like these and just KNOW that our little family is so blessed.  We have each other no matter what- but we also have a place to live, food, heat, and the opportunity to provide our daughter with a wonderful Christmas, where so many other families cannot.  I hope you had a great Christmas too!

Christmas Eve (before Santa came!)

Don't Call It A Comeback...

So, who doesn't post to their blog in over a YEAR?!?! Answer: THIS Girl.  Anyway, I have just been so busy I forgot I even had a blog!!!  Nobody seemed to be reading my posts, and I have been trying to figure out a way to increase traffic.  I like to share my stories with other parents of deaf/HOH kids.  Mostly because I like to hear myself talk (watch myself type?) but also to lend support to other families as so many have done for my family. 

These days, Zoe is a rowdy three year old with her own opinions, thoughts, feelings, and EMOTIONS!  Where did they even come up with the saying "terrible twos"?  I thought I was the perfect parent because MY little girl ate anything i put in front of her (well, she still does) and never whined, cried or threw fits at age two.  I thought for SURE that we were just so awesome that Zoe had no reason to be a brat. WELL, NOW... that was until she turned THREE.  Listen to me and listen good- THREE YEAR OLDS ARE OF THE DEVIL.  I have never been so stressed, nervous, embarrassed, frustrated... than I am now that Zoe is three.  She is vigilantly defiant, unyielding in her resolve to make my life a living HELL.  She makes the simplest public outing, like say, to a grocery store or clothing store something I DREAD. Just thinking about it makes me bite my nails and break out in a cold sweat.  I used to be all "She can't hheeeaaaarrrr, you guys... be NICE to her!" when she was 2.  Now, I KNOW what she can and cannot hear, but she still puts on an Oscar-worthy act like she couldn't hear a freaking truck back up through a building.

Me (from the other room, no less!): "Zoe!"
Zoe: WHAT?!?!
Me: "Excuse Me?!?!"
Zoe: "Yes, Mommy?"
Me: "Come clean up your toys."
Zoe: ".........."
Me: "Zoe?"
Zoe: "......"
Me: "ZOE!!!!"
Zoe: "..."
Me: (rounding the corner into her room) "Zoe Simone, I told you to come clean up your toys in the living room".
Zoe: (Her back turned toward me) "........"
Me: "ZOE!!!"
Zoe: "Hehehehehehehehehe"!!!!! (runs out of the room)

See, she thinks it's a GAME.  She thinks that just because I am a dumbass I used to be so easy on her, she can still play the "I Can't Heeeaaarrr Yyyoooouuuu" game. I have found that, especially with a child like Zoe, you have to be a lot more stern when you are disciplining them... because they think you are a sucker.  Anyone else have any stories about their children and discipline?

Happy Birthday, Princess!

On Sunday,  we took Zoe to see Sesame Street LIVE at first mariner arena- let me tell you, it was too cute!  Zoe just sat there the whole time staring- attentively watching every single act.  She, like me, is not really a fan of people in giant suits- but I figured she would like it if they kept their distance... LOL :)

She has only recently begun watching TV like anything- I don't even think she knew what it was until a couple months ago.  She was perfectly happy just playing with her toys and getting into things she isn't supposed to- sitting quietly and watching cartoons or a movie is not a luxury that my daughter has really ever afforded me.  Now, however-  TV can sometimes hold her attention for about 5! whole! minutes!!!  because she loves the charachters and recognizes them from her toys and/or books.  Her favorites are usually of the NOGGIN variety- you know, Wow Wow Wubbzy and the like- and she rarely seen much sesame street.

Me, however- having grown up wishing I could really live on Sesame Street, I was stoked about the show probably more than any grown person should be.  When Big Bird took the stage, it was like 1989 all over again... can't you just imagine a cute little 5 year old version of me, sitting cross-legged in front of our floor unit TV for hours, singing and dancing, and using the letter of the day enough times to drive my parents crazy?  Can't you?  Well, I can. Anyway. They were all there- all my beloved charachters, some new ones, and of course, my daughter's namesake*- which I joyfully pointed to every time she dared to come within 10 feet of us.  Zoe seemed to enjoy it, even though she didn't do as much singing and dancing as most of the kids- she just sat and took it all in.  It was the quietest I have seen her in, well... not counting when she's asleep- probably ever.  She then proceeded to shake her little booty and bob her head back and forth in the lobby.  Crazy backwards child of mine. *OK, i really didn't name my daughter after a Sesame Street character- though that would be wicked cool.  Oh, here are a few pics from the show...

This was part of Zoe's birthday present since we aren't throwing a big party this year.  Shut up, I already feel bad enough about it. We will probably take her to Chuck E Cheese and get her a cake next weekend, after she officially turns 2 on 9/23/09 (at 9:02 PM).  WOW, I can't believe my baby is turning 2 already.  I still remember the day I brought her home from the hospital.  What she wore that first night, how she slept, how she smelled, the little baby noises she made, and how amazing she was...  God I miss those days.  The days when I could lay her on a bed or on a blanket on the floor and she would still be there 5 minutes- nay, 5 Seconds- later.  The days when I was faster than Her.  The days when I cheerfully washed her little bottles and tidyed up her room while she NAPPED.  Well,  it's all good though- just another stepping stone, right?  One day she will be a teenager, and she will HATE me sometimes.  She will claim I am ruining her life and curse the day I birthed her because she has a curfew. Then one day she'll be an adult- and run off to marry some guy that I probably won't even like- and I will be saying how much I missed the days when she would take her shoes off in the backseat while mommy is driving, or throw herself dramatically to the floor over a cup of juice or some fruit snacks, or run from me in public places and ake me chase her.  I will long for these days just as much as I long for her infant days now. 

But for now, she's only 2.  She likes to read stories and get tucked in close to her mommy at night.  She likes lots of love, hugs and kisses with no strings attached. She likes to run in the grass and feel the sunshine on her face.  She likes to point at things and watch mommy look around for what she wants while babbling to me- probably telling me how much of an idiot I am in baby talk.  She loves to go to the park and slide down the big girl slide. She loves to jump in the air (and sometimes fall on her butt) just because. She likes to scream just because screaming is fun.  She likes to take long walks and point out all the birdies, doggies, and people. She likes to dress herself with hilarious results sometimes. She likes to lay in bed with mommy and cuddle before going to sleep.  And, luckily for us- she loves both her mommy and her daddy like they hung the moon. In the end, she is still and always will be mommy's baby, she's just getting older, and cuter :)  So, Happy Birthday baby girl- We Love You more than you can imagine.

It's A Small World After All...

When I first started on this journey with Zoe back in March, I felt all alone. I felt like I couldn't fathom why this had to happen to MY baby, or what I had done to cause it. As time has passed, I am quickly realizing that our situation is not uncommon. There are many more high functioning deaf people than I ever thought. They have great jobs and function in society just fine, dealing with their disability the best way they can. Sure, it has it's challenges- but this happened to us for a reason. Zoe is a very special little girl, and without being hearing impaired, she wouldn't be Zoe. I got to thinking about this because while getting my (fabulous) hair cut at Bubbles in Arundel Mills mall, my stylist and I (Hi Ashlee!) got to chatting- she told me how her son is doing the "your baby can read" program, and that at 18 months she is amazed at how much he is learning. And when I told her about Zoe's hearing loss, and how she is slowly learning sign language- she and I got into conversation about how her father, aunt and uncle are all deaf- and i thought, WOW, I'm not alone after all. She told me about programs her mother was involved in, and encouraged me to get as involved as possible in the deaf community. I think I will do that. We have already made the first step by enrolling Zoe in the MSD program for toddlers- so we just have to reach out further and really show her how many kids are just like her. It's so great to meet people who understand your situation a little bit!